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Saturday, December 24, 2016

I know its been a while since I wrote anything here

and there is probably nobody that reads this anyway,  which is good.

Because I need to write down what I am feeling but at the same time I don't want people to know that I feel this way.

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I think I am slowly falling into depression. I guess faking smiles and acting like nothing happen kinda accelerate the falling process.

There is no explaining a specific cause of why I am feeling this way.  Somehow I feel like everything is conspiring against me.  I feel like nothing I do is good enough. Seems like everything I say somehow got drowned by the noises that is not my own. It's like having that nightmare where you keep on falling into the abyss where the falling never ends and the fear never stop terrorizing you.

I am losing my sense of self importance and self worth.  I feel neglected sometimes.  It's lonely.  There is something missing inside me but  I do not know what.


Is this normal? Am I normal?