Saturday, April 30, 2011

Every Chapter in Life : A story book

I don't know if you guys could see it or not,
but have you every notice that in every stage in your life there is at least one person in that level that really matter in your life
I notice that I had that
since I were a lad till a grown up guy
I have these people who really matter for me and touches my heart
these people I genuinely love, till the end of my life

I can still remember a few of them from my past till now,
like when I was in standard six there is always Azrol, Huzaifa and Zamri to hang out in school
when I reach form 1 in Grik I knew Hanif Razali and then meet up with Azwan much latter
When I in from 3, I really started to bond with Syathbi
oh! and there this 'kakak' of mine : Puteri Awani. I heart her very much
when I got tranfered to TGB I met up pleanty of people I cared about : there is Muadz Termizi, Aminuddin Bazli, Hasif Ismail and much more.
then I proceed to Matriculation, I met Luqmal here, then I meet with Amirul, Azri and aziz( a group ). 
I bonded much closer with Izzat Syafiq Na'em and Ammar too( I know them since in TGB )

and now we good the present ; in UKM
it is still early to say I guess but I meet up with plenty of great people
Luqmal is still here, which pretty much making me happy
in UKM I have Azeem Azman, Hafeez, Irwan, Syafiq Mustafa, even two special little girls : Elly and Ecah
but I think the one closest to me is Fakhruddin Rostam.

don't get me wrong, I don't forget the people of my past, it is just we get separated for a while, and to meet up with them is not that easy.
I still care and love for them : I always will be, but we move on in life with hopes we stay connected together
and on our way there we made new friends and collect even more stories for our story book

In every chapter in a book, they complete one another to make a great story, you don't forget what you had read, you remember them for the future chapter to be read : these chapters what make up your story book.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Hilang seorang?

Follower aku hilang seorang?!
why meh?

teruk sangat ke blog aku sampai ada yang stop jadi follower?
ke aku yang teruk?

sedih aku tahu tidak,
hilang seorang kawan di blog 

pulang la kembali

Monday, April 25, 2011

Changing to Something

A friend name Fakhruddin ( real name owh! ) recently posted something in a skype group chat
he ask something about 'change'

yes! you heard me! Change!

well, when you are with someone almost all the time, you tend to miss these changes around them
but when you meet them in one part of your life and met them on another circumstances,
well than that is another story : you would obviously see so much change in them

perhaps how they look, their figure, their structure, their attitude, their way of speech, their way they walk, the way they everything

well I have been thinking this a lot actually, what happen if the friends I got now, would change in a short period of time?
at first I thought, it would be impossible for one to change in a short period of time when at the same time you are always there with them
but it is not, I know people can change in split second, depending on the environment and change factors.

it is not something to be suprise about when you see changes in your friends you go way back. it's normal I presume.
but to see so much change in a friend you always knew, is rare.

to be honest, I don't know what I am blabbering about here. I just seem to wrote what in my mind.
What it got to do with change anyways?
I've seen a lot of people change actually, a friend who suddenly a foe, a good friend suddenly become a stranger

people change for a reason : and sometimes they did not change at all, it is you who change.

L Ranger!

ada kawan kata pada aku melalui sistem pesanan ringkas melalui telefon bimbit canggih nyer kepada telefon ala kadar aku
beliau menaip ayat berikut pada aku :

"Aku memg lone ranger"

maaf, aku tidak mengerti apa itu lone ranger

dalam bahasa orang putih aku akan  kata : "sorry that I can't seem to imply that word to anything about you"

adakah beliau memilih untuk menjadi sedemikian atau pun beliau tidak sedar apa beliau lakukan
tapi itu cara hidup yang beliau pilih : kiter sokong jer~
tapi kalau ada kawan istilah 'lone ranger' memang tidak akan wujud, ia satu fantasi minda sahaja

sebab pada aku beliau adalah rakan pada aku, jadi secara teknikal : beliau bukan la lone ranger seperti yang di ungkapkan pada telefon bimbit aku

bak pepatah mendiang Micheal Jackson : you're not alone 

aku tahu memang ada jenis orang yang gemar untuk besendirian tetapi hakikat sebenar mereka tidak suka bila di pinggirkan 
aku kenal orang seperti itu : nama beliau Hafiy Halim
beliau gemar buat kerja sendirian tetapi ada kala beliau tidak suke di tinggalkan

haish! leceh betul mamat itu! haha~

jadi mungkin Hafiy Halim juga lone ranger?

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Happiness for you

I just remember something a few friends had scolded me for
and I got to say, for me it's somehow funny and a bit absurd of me

but this one friend was in such extend really pissed off by me
it's not like what I do wrong, but what I don't do
a typical hafiy halim's reaction or doing if you observed the specimen long enough 

" masa aku susah kau ada sahaja dengan aku, tolong aku dan support aku,

tapi masa aku gembira kau selalu hilangkan diri "

that is pretty much how it goes, well at least how I remember it in my head

if you are reading this, yes, this post is from you, and that is what I remember you said to me Amirul Rosli

I don't know if this is a disease or perhaps a habit,
but I just don't like seeing other people get hurt or being sad
I just wanted to make them feel better and smile
and help them being back on  their feet in pursuit in finding happiness

so when they really find what they were searching for in life 
and when I can see they had found happiness, 
I just thought my time was up, you find your happiness, and I am glad for you
but I don't see why I should interfere in your happiness

just the sight of a friend is happy is enough to keep me going
that is why I did not stay, I'm good seeing you happy
and I just don't see why should I be in the picture of your happiness when I am not
I just don't feel that is my place to be. That is why I go

I'll be here when you need me. always. and not just for one person but to all I know
You don't have to worry about me, don't have to fuss about my problems or what so ever that liked to me
because what matter here the most is not me but you guys

I just want you to be happy

Love em', I wanna eat em'

chocolate everywhere @0@

oh! how I love this freakin' candy <3

m&m's are the thing that would really get me crazy, up to be hyper almost every time I consume them
when I started having one, I just won't stop until it's gone
hence why I would have these sugar rush every now and then

I LOVE THEM m&m's <3

Monday, April 18, 2011

A letter for the beloved

 Dearly beloved,

It seem I haven't been me lately,
the truth is I am not being me these days,
I miss on being so carefree and care so very less about the things happened around me
I miss the days where I see everything special in the world : where everything matter, no less no more

when you slowly growing into your adult things start to change bit by bit
money start to matter, a good future is crucial, life fill with burden, debt, commitment, etc : life getting crowded.

perhaps we just forget how to remember 
remember how bright life can be, remember warmth the world can offer
we just need to trace back time and remember that life

money is not everything in life,
when life throw us a curve ball we should not sigh we take up the challenge
love should not be a burden 
life should not be fill with dull hardships and sorrow

take back time, remember how happy you use to be when you were a kid
remember how joyful it is to play tag with your friend in the playground : running around silly
when even a small cut won't stop you from running free

remember how happy it would be to celebrate your childhood birthday : remember the bliss of being loved and still be
trace back the time you have your first big achievement : despite the hardness you have to endure at first and taste victory as the end result
remember of your first love- how everything seems so right just being there

take back every single moment you have with your best friends, your family and your lover
and cherish every single moment of it : the bad and the good
because when we could remember the time of our pass and put the harshness in life at our back 
then we can truly sense and fell love and the joy of the world

just remember, when you feel like at worlds end in your life, just remember that special you in the past.
you just need to track back, retrace, and just remember you.

love your friend,
hafiy halim

Sunday, April 17, 2011

It is a Love Book

This is a love chapter

I recently got news about my friend love story just started
he is starting his love book with the person he hold and love very much
he just said to me through skype not by phone or face to face, but via skype 
but I can sense that he is truly and genuinely happy with the start of his new journey
and I am happy for his behalf ; to be honest it does make me envy him a bit
but that is not the main point for this matter does it?

it's not about me, it's about him: my dear friend.
this is a story about a boy and a girl, and how they find love with one another
this is his love story with her

I am happy for you Fakhruddin


I know I don't do well in crowded place
and I also know I am not too good with people around

but tonight I am positively sure that I hate crowded places
I learn that in a very very crowded night market

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Life behind these small smiles

I think I am losing the connection between myself and the world that once hold me so happily
to be frank, I felt like I don't belong in one's circle anymore
because when I am in a circle with flock of people I know and I use to be with, 
I just don't feel like I fit in with them : a freak.

lately I am feeling a bit disturb and depressed
perhaps it the pressure from the intense examination I am having at the moment
but I just can't seem to cheer myself up from all this depression and negative vibes
recently I bumped into and old once close person I hold so very dear
it was when I met him and when he held his arm and I held back for a handshake
that was when I feel something just isn't right

after that it got me thinking a lot,
as the world evolved around me, I just stood there
as the people around me went walking in their own path without noticing me stranded here alone
perhaps it is just me, but beside my family ( which I never discuss any of my life problem with-ever )
I don't think I have anyone I could turn too
I don't have that one person that I would easily spill all my life wrong going without hesitation
I do not have that one person I can put my full trust enough in them so I won't have to hold back shedding tears

at times I thought I trust someone, they just disappear.
I admit I got plenty of friends come and go, but I don't have many that sticks
I just have these friends that only come at one time and gone on the next phase of life

perhaps that is why I don't share much
I am afraid they be gone the next day, and leave me hanging
lonely again on the next sun rise
I smile a lot, at at times it just hard to keep on smiling
this life progression just at time stop the smiling : I don't like that


Monday, April 11, 2011

Wishes of luck

selamat maju jaya
doa-doakan saya agar dapat menerusi peperiksaan ini

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Warmth of the Hand

Believe it or not, my hand use to be very warm
I remember every morning during class when I was in form 3, I would hold my friend's hand
His was cold so when I held his hand, the cold slowly subside due to the warmth of my hand
and it felt really nice, it's true, it felt very nice
I always had warm hand back then
in addition I love to held my hand to others : to the people I love

but to be honest, when someone hold back my hand
I just feel secure for some reason
I may share the warmth of my body temperature through holding hands to some
but actually when people hold mine back it just help me set my feet on the ground
the hand I would hold would usually be cold but somehow I manage to feel warmth through that
you can say it keep me sane

but lately, now, it seem that the warmth I used to have bare in my palm just seem to be missing
perhaps I were too occupied to keep other people feel warm and happy that I forgot to keep myself warm and happy myself
when was the last time someone held my hands? I mean really held mine when even I didn't ask for it?
I just seem can't remember

to be frank, these few days just had me
I don't know what exactly
but somehow I keep on feeling something isn't right and something is missing
it feel like some puzzle in my life is missing, there is a massive hole
a pitch black hole opened, and there nothing in the world seem can cover it up
and it making me depressed for some reason
I could properly smile or laugh when I am with my friends or family
I can see they are happy and joyful, but I couldn't feel that way as they did

I may not seem like the person who need one
but to be more honest and frank
I just wanted someone to hold my hand
so I would know my grounds and don't have to feel lonely any longer
because it hurts so much somehow to feel alone
and that is the truth : it hurt so damn much.

sometimes I wonder if I really have someone I can turn into when I am in sorrows

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Motif Kami Tiada



Dedication to a Friend

I usually don't forget people's birthdays, especially people who are close to me : family and friends
but by chance I forgot one particular person's birthday
guess the the day just went by and I didn't even noticed anything
since my phone is out of credit, I didn't even bother to check my phone that time, I just left it stranded on the side of the table in my room
in addition I never got the chance to connect to the internet at home
so the blame is for me to take

on the 4th of April is a birth date of a dear friend of mine
well that is the date I forgot to wish him a simple ' happy birthday '
so the next day when I came back to college and got the chance to online
he directly IM me and said he was disappointed
at first I didn't seem to understand but a few minutes pass, I got the urge to check on my phone
and there it is : my mistake of forgetting

so I dedicated this one entry to apologize for my selfishness and my forgetfulness 
perhaps it wont put anything at ease, I'm pretty sure he is damn disappointed and mad even if he didn't say so
he may say that it is a small thing but I ensure you it is not
that is why I feel bad about forgetting his birthday
my friend here is a sensitive person, sensitive in a good way.
it was my lack of sensitivity that offended his sensitivity

here is what happen on our past together, on his last birthday with us in matriculation
my friend and I plan for a small surprise party for him
and you should have seen his face, how his eyes shine and how his face lighten up with the small occasion
and immediately we know how much that small small thing meant to him
and surprisingly, he said that that was a first time his friend have a birthday party for him
so that day mean a lot to him : a day to remember the moment with the people he loves

So to Amirul Rosli, I like to utter my apologies
and Happy belated birthday
I know it's late, but this is the best I can do
I can't turn back time but I can keep myself from forgetting for the years to come

If it make you better, don't wish me on my birthday :D
simple as that, that's gonna make us even then
I love you, and you should know that : I really do.

" happy belated birthday and my deepest apologies to Amirul Rosli "